God's Wrath

It's been awhile since I've posted a blog, so I figured "what the hey" I'll post one today... No rhyme intended.

Today I want to talk about one of the funniest and most disturbing passages I've ever read in the Bible: Judges 3:15-25

At this point in the Bible the Israelites have not been very nice people, so God has given them over to the Eglon King of Moab. The Israelites cry out to God and God feels sorry for them and sends them help in the form of Elhud, a left-handed man(yes, it actually specifies that he was left-handed). Then the Bible says, "Now Ehud had made a double-edged sword about a foot and a half [e] long, which he strapped to his right thigh under his clothing. 17 He presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab, who was a very fat man.

At this point I'm imagining this rich obnoxious blue-blooded nasty sweaty meanie, but as if that isn't bad enough then it says, "21 Ehud reached with his left hand, drew the sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king's belly. 22 Even the handle sank in after the blade, which came out his back. Ehud did not pull the sword out, and the fat closed in over it." Can we say gross?

Ok so to top it all off, God puts a line in the Bible that I think is in there solely for my intertainment:
3 Then Ehud went out to the porch [h] ; he shut the doors of the upper room behind him and locked them.

24 After he had gone, the servants came and found the doors of the upper room locked. They said, "He must be relieving himself in the inner room of the house." 25 They waited to the point of embarrassment, but when he did not open the doors of the room, they took a key and unlocked them.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? They're king was in the upper room dead and they thought he was CONSTIPATED!

The moral of the story: Don't mess with God's people or else you will be remembered like King Elgon, a fat and constipated man.